From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 12/21/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #343] Transforming Parties with Dialogue
"With the conversing, I forget all time."
John Milton
Conversation at parties sometimes gravitates to the lowest common denominator. The loudest talkers dominate and the quality of the talk declines as more drink is consumed. Frequently, communication seems incomplete, lacking substance, reciprocity, and acknowledgement.
While the situation may seem hopeless; it's not. Other people at the party are hungering for a fuller connection too!
Make a practice of listening and speaking to one person at a time. Since, your conversation-partner probably hasn't practiced the techniques of formal dialogue (mirroring, validation, empathy) don't be attached to those. Rather, try to ensure that reciprocity occurs. This means that you will take turns sharing.
Take responsibility for guiding the conversation toward reciprocity. Guiding the conversation takes practice and skill. If your conversation-partner seems nervous and reluctant to share, don't just keep talking. Ask an open-ended question. Then acknowledge the response to your question. If your conversation-partner is inclined to talk without pausing, interrupt and share something from your own experience.
If your partner isn't willing to share a reciprocal conversation, then excuse yourself to the rest room and find another conversation-partner.
Experiment: Remind yourself that communication failures at a typical party aren't your fault or your failure. They are result from the structure of the setting and the way that people have learned to cope with that.
Affirmation: The opportunity to experience abundance and fulfillment is present in each moment.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
