From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 12/17/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #341] Contempt
"If ever a man and his wife, or a man and his mistress, who pass nights as well as days together, absolutely lay aside all good breeding, their intimacy will soon degenerate into a coarse familiarity, infallibly productive of contempt or disgust." - Lord Chesterfield
Mindfulness includes being aware of how we treat our partner. A true friendship is not just a familiarity with another, it involves treating them with consideration.
Being considerate of the needs or feelings of others begins with being aware of our own needs and feelings and how this affects others.
Mark Twain said that "familiarity breeds contempt". Familiar comes from the Latin word familia meaning family. We often treat our closet family members, our partners, with disrespect. Our life experiences often teach us to fear.
Marcel Jouhandeau said that "to really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn". I used to thing that hate was the opposite of love. After my divorce, I learned that the hostility I felt towards my former husband was because I loved him so much. Maybe if he and had been really intimate, we would have shared with each other when we felt the contempt of familiarity.
Experiment: When you feel animosity towards your mate, share I feel statements and ask to be mirrored and validated.
Affirmation: We are all offspring of our Creator with the same traits as our loving ancestor.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
