From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 9/25/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #268] People Styles
"A third trait that self-actualized people have in common is that they have no interest in power or control over others." - Paraphrased from Wayne Dyer, referring to studies by Abraham Maslow
Most people would describe me as goal-oriented, high energy and assertive. Under stress, I attempt to impose my thoughts and plans on others. The more I am aware of my style, the more I can adjust my behavior to improve my relationships.
In a book called "People Styles at Work", Robert and Dorothy Bolton refer to four styles which are determined by how other people perceive our behavior.
Analytical - Less assertive and less emotional
Driver - More assertive and less emotional
Expressive - More assertive and more emotional
Amiable - Less assertive and more emotional
Under stress, our normal behavior becomes more extreme and inflexible. We adopt one of the following backup styles.
Analytical - Avoid
Driver - Autocratic
Expressive - Attack
Amiable - Acquiesce
Less assertive people may be intimidated by me, feeling controlled and pressured. I can adjust my behavior and support my relationships by phrasing my ideas more provisionally, talking less and listening more, not interrupting, allowing time for people to think over decisions and offering choices when I ask for what I want.
Experiment: Dialogue with your partner about your dominant and backup style. Discuss what you will do to adjust to your partner's style.
Affirmation: I am flexible and as a result, my relationships are improving each day.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
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