From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 8/12/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #224] Acceptance
"In 1972, 1,000 counselors were licensed marital therapists. Today the number of marital therapists is fast approaching 50,000 and psychology journals regularly remark upon the difficulty in keeping up with demand. The odds that all this therapy will keep partners together however, are less than compelling. Couples therapy has a dubious success rate, and research shows it is far less effective than individual therapy."
-- Joannie M. Schroe, US News, January 19, 1998.
According to Schroe, psychological research seems to be demonstrating that traditional marital therapy methods, which focus on behavioral change and negotiating compromise generally don't help, or may help temporarily, but may not last.
At least one researcher, UW psychologist, Neil Jacobson believes that partners need to shift their focus from what's wrong with each other to what's right with their partner. This commonsense idea led Jacobson to establish Acceptance Therapy as a new method of treatment.
Schroe writes, "The goal, not surprisingly, is for spouses to quit trying to change the annoying things about each other and instead find ways to tolerate, if not cherish, those qualities in their partner that are unlikely to change (obviously verbal or physical abuse is never acceptable)."
Experiment: Practice sharing your gratitudes with your partner.
Affirmation: We love each other's quirks.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
