From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 7/27/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #206] Systemic Forces
"How can it be otherwise than that each of us is responsible for self?
My major point is that effective intervention needs to be at systemic levels and needs to take into account systemic forces. Responsibility for self is at the foundation of such efforts, as I see it. The more aware I am of the systemic forces which influence me, then the more successful I'm likely to be in being in charge of self. The more aware I am of how I contribute to the problem behavior of others, then the less likely I am to add to the risk factors which may influence (not control) others adversely.
In terms of research, my interest is in accounting for both sides of the dance between the one who builds up self at the expense of others and the ones who give up self to others. To study one without the other seems to me like studying one dancer without accounting for the movements of the partner. Again, this is not about excusing anyone from responsibility, but rather describing patterns of influence."
- Carl Jensen
I am a systems therapist. When an individual calls to schedule an appointment, I often ask to see them with their partner. If a parent calls for an appointment for their child, I ask the whole family to come in. I learn a lot more about the "identified patient" when I see them in the context of their environment.
Wayne Dyer says that, "Grouchy people...get something from their despondency--and usually their dividend is your attention, or even worse, the satisfaction of dragging you down there to join them in their misery." He says that we often reinforce others' misery by giving them attention. He states that there are people with a debilitating brand of melancholy who resist others efforts to be pleasant and are impossible to please. He believes that the behavior persists because it has been reinforced. He suggests that we be an accepting confronter, not a victim's victim.
Experiment: Dialogue about your partnership as a system and how you might be reinforcing each others unhealthy behaviors.
Affirmation: I am part of a healthy system.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
