From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 7/23/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #202] Recovery
"As work on these areas of recovery progresses, people usually pass through different stages of healing from both the childhood issues and the adult symptoms." - Pia Mellody
How do we go about changing the unhealthy behaviors we used to adapt to our childhood environment? When I understand that there are stages of healing, I feel more in control of the situation and I can measure my progress. Pia Mellody has identified five stages of recovery from childhood issues by noting what we would be saying about our childhood and adult life in each stage. I have adapted her material.
1. DENIAL
About childhood: "I grew up in a perfectly healthy family."
About adult life: "I am not affected by my childhood experiences."
2. BLAMING THE OFFENDER
About childhood: "My problems are my parent's fault. If they don't get well, I can't."
About adult life: "I can't heal until my partner does. It is all my partner's fault that I have problems. If I had a healthy person to relate to, I wouldn't be acting this way."
3. ACCOUNTABILITY
About childhood: "I am now able to hold my major caregivers accountable for what was done to me, and I have my feelings about what happened to me in childhood."
About adult life: "I hold myself responsible for my behaviors and my recovery."
4. SURVIVAL
About childhood: "I let go of the intense emotions surrounding what happened to me as a child."
About adult life: "I am beginning to experience a sense of personal power and hope as I heal from my dysfunction and self-defeating behaviors and take charge of my life. I want an adult intimate relationship."
5. INTEGRATION
About childhood and about adult life: "I now see that what happened to me has created who I am. I'm grateful because I see how the problems I had as a child have in turn created my spiritual path and given me some depth of character and wisdom."
Experiment: Dialogue with your partner about where you are on the path to recovery from childhood wounds.
Affirmation:
I am experiencing a rebirth as I transform my life into a journey of love.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
