From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 7/19/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #198] Forgiveness
"Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."
- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.
Our intimate relationships offer the greatest opportunity to finish old business. We tend to reenact repressed anger towards our caretakers in our relationships with intimate partners. We can experience our present relationships, free of contamination from our childhood wounds through dialogue.
Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt introduced the idea that we can dialogue with our partner as if they are a parent with which we have unfinished business. We can tell them what we would like to be able to say to a parent. We can share our hurt and anger, the things we admire about them and the things we dislike. We can tell them what we wanted and didn't get.
We can also practice forgiveness by saying, "I know about the pain you experienced as a child. I know how hard it was for you. I know you did the best you could. I forgive you for... Thank you for... I love you."
A course in Miracles says, "The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love."
Experiment: Ask your partner to mirror and acknowledge you r thoughts and feelings as you dialogue with them, saying what you would like to say to one of your caregivers.
Affirmation: Love is everywhere present.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
