From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 7/17/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #196] Peacemakers
"Each time we have opposing sides we are offered the opportunity to create the magical experience of a new paradigm, a synergy that is better for both sides together then it was apart."
- Stephen Longfellow Fiske
In 1996, Stephen gave me his autographed book "The Art of Peace" as a gift. As Marty and I are searching for ways to express the concepts of conflict resolution, I remembered the forgotten book I had never read. Funny how books on this topic all seem to be saying the same thing. There must be some truth to the ideas.
Stephen talks about what a Peacemaker seeks: "not to be an agent of conflict, to make demands, issue ultimatums, place blame, insult or indulge in inflammatory remarks or behavior, but to remain as centered and nonbiased as possible and to establish an agreed-upon means of operation or process through which to deal with conflict."
Yesterday I experienced conflict when an attorney called to tell me he wanted me to testify in a case about one of my clients. He said that I could testify by phone for 10 minutes at 11:30. I told him that I had counseling sessions scheduled at the time of the hearing and would not be available, to which he replied, "I'll just subpoena you then." I had been given an ultimatum. Dialoguing with Marty, I felt understood and became more creative with a win-win solution to receive the phone call between sessions at 11:50. I asked for what I wanted with the attorney and then detached from the outcome. The answer was yes.
Experiment: Dialogue with someone about planning an activity. Practice holding your tongue even though you may disagree with the ideas of the other. Practice keeping an open mind. Acknowledge the other person for their point of view. As you practice this method, others will listen to you and magic will emerge.
Affirmation: I am able to listen and truly hear another person's point of view.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
