From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 7/15/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #194] Arguing
"We veteran married couples have, over the years, especially on long car trips, developed certain time-tested techniques that even an inexperienced person can use to turn any issue, no matter how minor, into the kind of vicious, drawn-out argument where you both spend a lot of time deliberately going through doors you don't really need to go through, just so you can slam them viciously."
- Dave Barry
I was once in a relationship with a man who said, "I'm bored. Let's have an argument." Many of us learned techniques of arguing in our childhood homes and have become quite adept at the sport. We may even enjoy the adrenaline rush we get from trying to be right.
Dave Barry says that , "If you really do it right, you should reach the point where neither of you has the vaguest recollection what the original disagreement was, but both of you are willing to get divorced over it."
Here are Dave Berry's techniques for creating an argument.
1) Always be on the lookout for conversational openings that can lead to arguments.
2) Never admit you're wrong.
3) Get the argument focused on a completely different topic, ideally a strident accusation that you have dredged up out of your memory that is totally unrelated to the issue at hand.
4) Always maintain a supply of retaliative, irrelevant accusations in your mind so that you can dredge them up when you need them.
Experiment: Dialogue with your partner about what techniques you have used in your past to start an argument or keep one going.
Affirmation: I am expressing my feelings, wants and needs appropriately.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
