From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 4/8/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #98] Validation
"Learn to reason forward and backward on both sides of a question."
- Thomas Blandi
After sharing my thoughts and feelings at length, I asked Marty, "Would you validate me?" "Sure", he said "that's easy because I could tell you were speaking from your heart." In dialogue, validation is an act of courtesy and consideration for your partner. When we value our mate's opinion, recognizing their genuine, honestly felt experience, we set a tone of mutual respect.
Validation is not saying that you believe someone's point of view is accurate or that you approve of their values. It does not mean that you agree with their perception of the world. It doesn't mean that you are convinced they are right. It doesn't mean that you believe they are infallible, unambiguous, irrefutable, indisputable, undoubted or unquestionable. It has nothing to do with acquiescence or submission. It doesn't imply that you think their thoughts are consistent with reality or the actual state of things.
Validation means that you can understand the premises from which their conclusion may have been logically derived. You can see how a situation may have led to your mate's particular inference or deduction. It means that you cherish and honor the other person. It means you recognize and acknowledge the existence of the other, separate from yourself. It means you support them in being real and authentic. It means that you regard your partner as worthy of your time and attention. It means that their concerns are not to be taken lightly and that you are considering their opinions with careful thought.
Experiment: Practice mirroring and validating your partner.
Affirmation:
I am considerate of my partner by considering their opinion as valid.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved. To share this with a friend, encourage them to subscribe by visiting our website at http://dailydialogue.com/. You may also unsubscribe at the website.
