From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 3/11/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #70] Caring
"In the beginning children need someone to be there for them and this is the meaning of the caring for and caring about stages. - Stanley Keleman
As an infant, our caretakers are our mirrors. We feel about ourselves what our caretaker feels about us. In our relationship with our mate, we have an opportunity to heal childhood wounds by having a partner who cares about our well-being.
Caring can take many forms. If we are over responsible for our partner, we tend to rescue them and control them. We worry about getting their approval. If we care about them, we encourage, listen and set boundaries.
The dialogue process of mirroring and acknowledging supports us in having a healthy adult relationship of caring about our partner. It keeps us from moving into an over/under responsible pattern of one person being the persecutor or rescuer and the other a victim.
Experiment: Dialogue with your partner about your patterns of relating. Talk about your tendency to be over or under responsible in the relationship. Discuss ways that you sometimes play persecutor, rescuer or victim in the relationship.
Affirmation: I am practicing caring behaviors with my partner by mirroring and acknowledging.
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