From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 3/1/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #60] Waiting
"The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting."
- Fran Lebowitz
A familiar pattern in conversation is to be preparing what we are going to say while the other person is speaking. When they are finished we say what we have prepared, which is often a carefully constructed statement that indicates we are right. Dialoguing at the highest level, involves waiting after we mirror to see if the sender has more to share.
During the silence, there is an opportunity for contemplation. The listener can thoughtfully observe their body sensations, their feelings and thoughts without responding. This time of quiet meditation in between talking allows for connection with the intuition and higher truth. We can witness our judging, blaming, self-righteous self without impulsively reacting from that place.
This level of interaction is a spiritual discipline, particularly in the midst of what sounds like criticism from our partner. If the extra time it takes to wait in silence adds decades to our bliss with our mate, would it be worth it?
Experiment : Dialogue with your partner using the following process.
Sender - Share feelings and pause
Receiver - Mirror and ask, "Is that right?" "Did I get it all?"
Sender - Clarify until receiver mirrors correctly
Receiver and Sender - Wait one minute in silence
Receiver - "I can see how you would be feeling.... because..."
Receiver - "Is that how you feel?"
Sender - Clarify until receiver mirrors correctly
Receiver and Sender - Wait one minute in silence
(Switch roles of sender and receiver)
Affirmation - I am reaching to higher levels of consciousness in my communication with my mate.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved. To share this with a friend, encourage them to subscribe by visiting our website at http://dailydialogue.com/. You may also unsubscribe at the website.
