From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 2/8/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #39] Compliments
"You make me want to be a better man." - Jack Nicholson in "As Good as it Gets"
The ratio of compliments to criticisms is an indicator of relationship health. A recommended ratio is 5. This means that we are exchanging 5 compliments for each criticism. As we do this, we establish a reserve of good will, which helps reduce the impact of an occasional criticism.
I notice that I am most motivated and successful at improvement when I am appreciated and acknowledged. In contrast, feelings of embarrassment and shame tend to block my attempts at change or improvement. Eliminating criticism entirely seems a worthy goal.
Experiment: Praise your partner sincerely at least five times today.
Affirmation: I am looking for my favorite things about you and centering my thoughts on those.
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