From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 1/24/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #24] Asking
"Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier." - Baltasar Gracian
We tend to attract partners who reflect our disowned selves. The paradox is that our partner's frustrating personality traits often represent a polarity within us. When we recognize that our partner is a mirror for our own inner struggles, we are able to move from the power struggle to the stability stage.
Is it easier for you to ask for what you want or to remain silent, believing you have to do everything for yourself? We naturally have differing expectations in our relationships. Getting through the power struggle requires establishing agreements about how to we will work through conflict.
As we ask for what we want and help our partner get their needs met, we integrate our disowned parts and experience our wholeness.
Experiment - Think of a specific request you would like to make of your partner. Use the words, "Would you please" (followed by a very specific description of a behavior and time frame). The person who receives the request is free to say yes or no. The requester accepts either response without judgment. If the response is no, you may choose to make a different request.
Affirmation - I am discovering more about myself through the mirror of my partner.
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