From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 1/22/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #22]Developmental Stages
The aim of the couple's journey is to experience a quality of relationship where my love for myself and my love for my partner are two inseparable parts of a whole-where getting what I want serves us, and giving to you serves me as well. This inseparability of self and other is what the term "wholeness" implies: We recognize our unity, even while celebrating our uniqueness." - Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
There is a road map for the couple's journey towards intimacy. It is helpful to know what obstacles to expect along the way. When we understand the process of creating an intimate relationship, we are more likely to enjoy the journey.
Susan Campbell defines five major developmental stages of the couple's journey.
1) Romance-Shared vision, fear of conflict
2) Power Struggle-Recognize differing needs,ask for what we want
3) Stability-Responsibility,clarify identity through dialogue
4) Commitment-Interdependence,live with insoluble dilemmas
5) Co-creation-Creating humane world while caring for each other
The couple relationship offers us an opportunity to transform ourselves and the world. As we see differences as a source of growth and problems as the shared responsibility of the system, we are a part of the evolution of higher consciousness.
Experiment - Dialogue with your partner about where you are on your couple's journey. Choose the activity that fits your stage of development.
1) Romance-Share withholds,thoughts and feelings you keep to yourself
2) Power Struggle-Own up to how you exit the relationship
3) Stability-Share your night time dreams
4) Commitment-List 20 things you love to do with your partner
5) Co-creation-Formulate a joint project that supports your values
Affirmation - I am balancing loving myself and giving to my partner.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved. To share this with a friend, encourage them to subscribe by visiting our website at http://dailydialogue.com/. You may also unsubscribe at the website.
