From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 1/13/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #13] More About Truth
"Anyone can become angry -- that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not easy." Aristotle
The healthy partnership provides safety -- especially when one or both of us is angry. It's not enough to make all forms of physical violence unacceptable. We must also create practices that protect us from verbal abuse.
Speaking about my feelings in a dialogue with my partner allows me to express anger in a healthy way. Speaking about anger is different from speaking out of anger. In the former, I describe what happened, how I interpreted what happened, and how I'm feeling about it. In the latter I may blame, criticize, label, and attack, or become sullen and withdraw.
While my anger may come up first, it's usually more helpful to talk about all the primary feelings that a troubling incident brings up for me. I like to adddress these in the order: anger, sadness, fear, and embarrassment. While this order seems natural to me, another order might fit better for others.
Experiment: Make an appointment with your partner to dialogue about an irritating or frustrating experience you had recently. Describe the incident, your interpretation, and your feelings. Your partner will paraphrase and acknowledge your anger, based on her understanding of your interpretation.
Affirmation: I am learning that my anger can be a signpost that marks the gateways to healing and growth in my quest for self-development.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved. To share this with a friend, encourage them to subscribe by visiting our website at http://dailydialogue.com/. You may also unsubscribe at the website.
