From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 1/10/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #10] Title Thoughts
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein
What determines the future of a marriage in the area of problem-solving is not whether the problem is solved, rather whether the couple can establish a positive affective dialogue. If a problem is approached with amusement and affection, the marriage is more likely to last. This finding came from years of study conducted by John Gottman, Ph.D.
If you have thoughts of contempt about your partner, it will be difficult to solve a problem. By contrast, if you have thoughts
of admiration about your partner's personality characteristics,
the problems do not seem as significant. A change of thinking
will change your relationship.
Experiment - Dialogue with your partner about their personality traits that you admire. Share specific incidents that illustrate each characteristic. Begin with, "What I appreciate about you is..."
Affirmation - I admire all the ways my partner is different from me.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
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