From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 1/5/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #5] Safety
She began to understand why lovers talk baby talk to one another. There was no other socially acceptable circumstance in which the children inside her were allowed to come out ... Perhaps the depth of love can be calibrated by the number of different selves that are actively involved in a given relationship. - Carl Sagan, "Contact"
From childhood, I've experienced myself as a sensitive person. I often was humiliated by my tendency to react to stress and threat with crying -- not socially acceptable for boys. It now seems to me that most, if not all, humans are very sensitive, especially to a threat of experiencing humiliation.
Fulfilling partnerships demand that we lower our defenses, and let the less socially acceptable parts of ourselves show. This defense-less-ness is a feat of courage, which probably won't be attempted in the absence of adequate safety. Our goal in dialogue is to devise a structure that increases safety.
Experiment: Watch your thoughts today. IF you are tempted to criticize your partner, find something you like and quietly mention your appreciation. At the same time, notice something you appreciate about yourself and mention that too.
Affirmation: I am spending most of my time and energy noticing my gratitude.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
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