From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 10/7/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue ## 276] Expectations
"Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold" - Maurice Seitter
Olive oil should be refrigerated after opening because it says so on the bottle. Olive oil should be left at room temperature because it hardens when it's cold and you can't pour it. This disagreement between Marty and I is a result of the set of rules we live by.
In partnerships, we are not going to have the same rules or expectations as our mate. Step one in resolving the differences is to identify the unspoken rules. After we got married, I expected Marty to cook more. Marty expected me to clean more.
Many of our rules come from our parents. My Mom used to say, "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Marty's Dad said, "always work hard and save your money to buy land." Les and Leslie Parrott say we value many of the same things but with different levels of intensity. The more you discuss differing expectations, the more likely you will co-create something better than you ever expected.
Experiment: Each one of you write ten of your rules. They may begin with always, never, don't, you should or you shouldn't. Share your list with your partner and discuss how these rules affect your relationship. Decide which rules you want to let go of or change.
Affirmation: I let go of worry about my expectations being met, because I know that the Creative Intelligence is at work in my relationship.
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