From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 9/18/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #262] Styles of Loving
"...As there are as many minds as there are heads, so there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts." - Leo Tolstoy
A man I was dating once said to me, "Love doesn't mean the same thing to me as it means to you." After seven months of dating, I chose to end the relationship because he did not "feel" that he loved me. He was disappointed that I would let go so soon because he said he was getting closer to loving me. We took a quiz developed by Marcia Lasswell and Norman Lobsenz in the book "Styles of Loving" and learned that our definition of love was different.
The Greeks have many words for love:
Storge - friendship, nonromantic intimacy
Agape - spiritual love, forgiving, unconditional
Mania - possessive, dependent
Pragma - practical, sensible, logical
Ludus - lacks emotional commitment
Eros - romantic, sensual, falling in love
It is important to me that I have a satisfying sexual relationship with my mate and that we share romantic times with emotional intimacy. I value the friendship that grows with my partner through the years as we develop a supportive interdependency. I like the security and comfort of relaxing in the arms of my best friend and lover. I value time apart to develop my separate identity and self-love. I believe in the importance of forgiveness. I am committed to a monogamous relationship and I would not stay in a relationship that was physically or emotionally abusive. It is important to me that my partner have similar values about love.
Experiment: Dialogue about your style of loving.
Affirmation: I love in a way that is mutually satisfying and for the
highest good of all concerned.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
