From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 9/7/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #249] Conversation
"Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory." - Emily Post
An American etiquette authority, Emily Post believed that behavior in polite society involves giving and receiving reciprocally rather than making a persuasive speech. Martin Buber, a Jewish religious philosopher, developed a philosophy of encounter he called dialogue in which there was a mode of exchange with full appreciation of the other as a genuine being. Rick Ross and Charlotte Roberts believe that we need to learn to skillfully balance advocacy and inquiry by encouraging others to challenge us.
I believe that each one of these authors have something very important to teach me. I have a tendency to advocate my point of view, asserting myself and explaining how it is that I believe the way I do. I am quite talkative and I often don't give others a chance to mutually interchange with me. I sometimes forget to be genuinely curious about others.
I like Martin Buber's distinction between dialogue and monologue. The dialogue is an I-Thou relationship which confirms the unique value of the other, whereas the monologue or I-it relationship does not see the other. In I-Thou relationships we honor the divine in the other.
The dialogue process might be likened to a interchange at a highway intersection designed to permit traffic to move freely from one road to another without crossing another line of traffic. When conversation moves freely from one to another we don't get stuck at boring stoplights of intersecting monologues.
Experiment: Share your thinking with others and then ask, "How does that sound to you? Does that make sense to you? What do you think/feel about what I have said? What is your point of view on this subject? What has been your experience? How do you relate to what I am saying?" Remember to remain quiet and allow time for the interchange to flow.
Affirmation: I am allowing for a mutual exchange of thought with others, appreciating their divinity.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
