From The Daily Dialogue
From The Daily Dialogue
Broadcast of 9/2/98
Subject: [DailyDialogue #245] Being Understood
"Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question: What does a woman want?"
- Sigmund Freud
According to the research of Markman and Kraft, women want 1) to be cherished, 2) to be known and 3) to be respected. Whether gender differences are real or imagined, I know I want these three things in my life.
I am blessed to be in a relationship in which my desires in these area are fulfilled most of the time.
Marty, you are great at cherishing me by frequently telling me you love me. You take time to be with me to dialogue, take me out to eat and walk with me. When I have an important meeting, you ask me afterwards how it went.
Marty, you are a wonderful listener. Yes, your Daily Dialogue on "Seeking to Understand" really showed that you understood my point of view completely. You are great about keeping your advice to yourself unless I ask for it. Even if I do ask for it, you sometimes hesitate and help me find my own answers. You accept my feelings and validate them. You empathize and actively listen by reflecting back what I am saying. You convey that you genuinely want to understand me. You put yourself in my shoes and show that you can see the world the way I do.
Marty, you respect me and help me feel secure by telling me I am a good wife. You honor my wishes by helping with the dishes, painting the bathroom and taking care of the yard. You honor my spiritual values and go to church with me. You honor my right to take care of myself the way I feel is best. You include me in decisions about spending money and ask me for input on things that will affect me. Thank you.
Experiment: List your top ten desires in relationship and prioritize them. For example, admiration, affection, commitment, companionship, conversation, financial support, honesty, intimacy, personal space, respect, security, sex or shared activities. Share them with your partner.
Affirmation: I am grateful for being loved the way I most want to be loved.
The Daily Dialogue is published each day of 1998 by e-mail. Copyright 1998, Eddy Brame and Marty Crouch, All rights reserved.
